Don’t worry, relax and get back to enjoying your bubble bath; the ducks are safe!

Yet again, dramatic stories are appearing on several of my social network feeds, of how overly sensitive and scary Muslims are threatening British culture: your football matches, your favourite foods and even your Christmas is at risk!

One rumour, which has been floating around the media sphere, is of a woman who was told to remove her St. George’s Cross sticker from her taxi, as it offended Muslims. This all sounded rather far-fetched, therefore I decided to begin some intense and extensive Googling!

I located the source of the original article quite quickly ( As soon as you enter the site, your eyes are drawn to the rather dramatic image of a flaming skull, and behind it, a mosque. The image screams Islamophobia and, straight away, I begin to question the reliability of any of the featured ‘articles’.

Oh but wait, I was so taken by the image that I neglected to read the caption beside it, which reads: ‘It’s not Islamophbia when they really ARE trying to kill you’. Well, clearly I was wrong, this must be a very trusting and balanced media source for information.


The article did indeed state that a woman was told by the council to remove her St. George Cross stickers from her taxi cab, as ‘foreigners’ considered them to be offensive. Denise Said, 53, claimed she received a letter from the council, stating that her licence will not be renewed, unless she removes the stickers. The writer assumes that a rival ‘Paki Muslim’ taxi driver is behind the complaint, in an attempt to steal Denise’s customers – those meddlesome Muslims!

However, what I found most shocking, is that there was no evidence of any letter from the council throughout the entire article. I don’t know about you, but if I received such a letter, which has no legal backing, the first thing I would to is copy it and send it to all the local press offices.


Following this article, I decided to seek advice from a solicitor. During the World Cup, I have always hung St. George flags, could someone really ask me to take it down? Alex Watts, an expert solicitor in property law informed me that there is absolutely no law that prevents you from displaying a flag. However, if you are going to construct a permanent fixture, such as a flag pole to the side of your house, then you will need to gain planning permission from the council.

Well this all left me very confused. Why on earth would be so misleading? What could they possibly have to gain? If you are reading this, my sweet Denise (which I doubt you are, as there is no way it will ever be published in the Daily Mail), make sure you carry on putting those stickers wherever you damn please! Paint your car with a giant St. George cross if you must and save us all from having to trade our beloved Sunday roasts for curry!

With Christmas approaching, I just sit and await the annual ‘Christmas decorations banned because they offend Muslims’. I read the same xenophobic things every year, whether it be at Christmas or during the World Cup and the Olympics. Despite all the concern surrounding the loss of key aspects of our British culture, it seems that every second house which I pass has a flashing Santa in the window.

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Of course, I expect that many people will wholly disagree with me. I can already hear terrified little right-wing, football hooligans screaming incidences of extremism at me, like what happened in Woolwich earlier this year. But labelling all extremists as ‘Muslim’ is like calling members of the Westboro Bapist Church ‘Christians’, and I am not about to invite members of either extremist-cult round for afternoon tea and crumpets!

British culture is changing, and thank God that it always has! Otherwise I would have been hung already, under suspicion of being a witch I would assume.